Heartbreak

This time of year is always full of joy as we welcome all the new arrivals.  The barn is full of bouncing squeaky babies and the low maternal bleating of proud goats.

But it is also a very stressful time of year for humans and goats alike as sometimes we fail to save one of our kids or, more rarely, one of our new mums.  But we feel every loss as keenly as ever, especially when it is one of our dearest girls.

Yesterday evening I had to say goodbye to my dear old Flora goat as she had become suddenly and desperately ill during the day, although she was not pregnant.  Though we fought to save her, it was clear that this time she was not going to make it and so I had to make that dreaded phone call to the on-call vet.

I sat and held her tired old head in my arms as we waited for the vet to arrive.  I wanted her to come quickly so that Flora would no longer be in pain but, at the same time, I wanted her to take forever to arrive so that I could just sit and hold my beautiful girl. 

We are not allowed to have favourites, but Flora was very special to me.  Whenever I went into the barn she would come and find me, look up into my eyes and rub her head against me.  She was big and beautiful and I loved her dearly.  Although there are still crowds of goats in the barn, it somehow seems empty now without my special girl there to greet me.

When it was all over, I came home and got my records out to check her age.  And found that my beloved girl had died on her 10th birthday.